This week a little bit mess for me.

I felt angry everyday. So tiring.

I realized, I’m not focus on what matters. 

The things I should have been looking for is relation with God,character, God’s glory and social life.

Sorry for misunderstand what’s matter the most in my life.

I believe we’re all have been in our lowest point in life.

I did and I am. 

I feel so stressed and I almost don’t care about anything at all.

What matters for me before, doesn’t matter anymore for me now.

I might lose my faith. Yes I might. But I just can’t. 

I cannot runaway from His love. I cannot runaway from HIM. 

No matter what happens, sad things good things.. I just can’t lose it.

Because my mind already tied with HIM. 

All I can say just why God why? 

Why do You do this to me? 

I don’t know the answers for now. 

I’m totally at my lowest point right now.

Maybe in the next post I will tell you what’s the end and what’s the meaning of all of this. 

Can somebody explain this to me? is there some conspiracy? :((((((

Ithaka

As you set out for Ithaka

hope the voyage is a long one,

full of adventure, full of discovery.

Laistrygonians and Cyclops,

angry Poseidon—don’t be afraid of them:

you’ll never find things like that on your way

as long as you keep your thoughts raised high,

as long as a rare excitement

stirs your spirit and your body.

Laistrygonians and Cyclops,

wild Poseidon—you won’t encounter them

unless you bring them along inside your soul,

unless your soul sets them up in front of you.

Hope the voyage is a long one.

May there be many a summer morning when,

with what pleasure, what joy,

you come into harbors seen for the first time;

may you stop at Phoenician trading stations

to buy fine things,

mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,

sensual perfume of every kind—

as many sensual perfumes as you can;

and may you visit many Egyptian cities

to gather stores of knowledge from their scholars.

Keep Ithaka always in your mind.

Arriving there is what you are destined for.

But do not hurry the journey at all.

Better if it lasts for years,

so you are old by the time you reach the island,

wealthy with all you have gained on the way,

not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.

Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.

Without her you would not have set out.

She has nothing left to give you now.

And if you find her poor, Ithaka won’t have fooled you.

Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,

you will have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.

—Constantin Cavafy